Masturbation is a great feeling, obviously, but like any indulgence, too much of it can be a bad thing. I’m guessing you already know about the health and mental benefits of regular masturbation. I
t decreases men’s chances of getting prostate cancer and can help post-menopausal women regain their pelvic-floor strength—but jacking or jilling off can have negative consequences, some of which are pretty darn cumbersome.
You hopefully know that there’s no actual “bone” in the erect penis. There is, however, an inner core called the “corpus cavernosum” that can snap and rupture from acrobatic sex or vigorous masturbation—your dick can bend in half like a flag getting folded up during “Taps.”
Every survivor account of this event sounds so painful that you’ll wish your femurs were getting smashed with sledgehammers instead.
In extreme cases, self-pleasuring can actually fracture your dick and rupture your arteries. Be careful out there.
A California woman sued the adult toy manufacturer Pipedream Products, Inc., in 2011 after one of the company’s dildos nearly killed her. One minute she was using the sex toy as intended; the next, there was sharp vaginal pain and severe bleeding.
Her boyfriend quickly called 911, and she was rushed to the hospital, where she made a full recovery after a few pints of blood were pumped back into her. It turns out that the bleeding came from one of her iliac arteries, which are located deep in the lower abdomen and can rupture from blunt trauma due to objects inserted in the vagina and anus.
BLEEDING URETHRAL MEATUS
Not every guy jerks off the same way. Some like a tight fist around the shaft, others a more head-focused rubbing, and some guys just love to stick foreign objects up their urethras.
An elderly Australian man of the latter variety thought it would be fun to insert a four-inch fork into his urethra. Lots of blood, lube, and forceps later, the object was removed and the man now has to urinate like someone holding his thumb over the end of a hose.
This brings us to the worst-case scenario: You can, in rare cases, die from complications from jerking off. In December of 2014 a woman went into sudden cardiac arrest after complaints about abdominal pain.
It turned out that she was experiencing hidden hemorrhagic shock brought on by spontaneous rupture of the left common iliac artery.
Her husband’s statement, coupled with the noticeable blunt trauma, led the medical team to assume overly aggressive vaginal dildoing was to blame. Though doctors controlled the bleeding with a stent, the woman died from her injuries.